Stuck

I am here
Though rarely am I present
Somewhere between the future I can't see
and the past that lies behind me
is where you can often find me
Wandering....
Pondering life's greatest mysteries
wondering if history will repeat itself
can we even help whats to come
Can we undo what's been done
I don't mean to sound jaded
but I just get so frustrated
with all the unkindness
So tangled up in all of the fine print
that I tend to forget
who I am
What I know and where I stand

Grandpa.....

How far I've come from where I've been
it still amazes me to this day
that little girl that walked away
from anyone who tried to say I was wrong
when all along they were right
Man I wish I had taken the time to listen
To absorb as much wisdom as they had to offer
If only there were a way to stop the time
To rewind just a little while ago
to the time when you told me so
I would take back what I said that was mean
Telling you I didn't care what you think
I didn't mean it
I had a mouth and I couldn't keep it quiet
Not even for one second
and now I regret it
wasted time that could have been spent with you grandpa
Time I can't get back
and the fact is that I miss you
what I've been going through
I just know in my heart that you
You would've known just what to say
You would've told me to pray until my knees were sore
To give it all to God until I couldn't give anymore
You were always so faithful
in times so painful
You remained grateful for what you did have
and I truly miss that
influence in my life
Wish I would've had just one last goodbye
One last time to tell you I'm sorry
I didn't know it all
I'm sorry I didn't show at all
how much I loved you
I pray that you can forgive me

Only a Mother Can.....

It's getting late
Yet I hesitate to fall asleep
Afraid to even blink
with the chance that my eyes
may shut and I never wake
My worst fear
to miss out on life
and never take
the opportunity to live it
"Though God giveth. He can also taketh away"
Although I pray that doesn't happen
At least not before I get to say
How much you matter
How much your laughter warms my soul
That you fill a hole in my heart
the way only a mother can
and I understand
it's never been easy raising a child like me
Let alone three
Multiple personalities
It's a wonder to me
you were even able to be there
for all of our needs
without a care for yourself
Not your career or even your health came into play
Until you could say with all certainty
that we were okay
That we were taken care of
You made us constantly aware of
an Unconditional Love
A Love that holds no punches
yet holds no grudges
and never ever judges
From the moment I was born
and you held me in your arms
That is the Love you loved me with
and to this day continue to give
And I thank you for it
Though I don't always show it
I would hope that you'd know that
I love you more than these words on paper could ever express
and I am truly blessed
to have you as my mother.

Dedicated to Carol L. Carey.