Our True Identity

Insecurities. All of us have them but when they lie unaddressed or we remain in denial of them for a period of time, they can take hold within us like bad weeds in a garden, and we start to decay and become a shell of ourselves. Instead of recognizing them and then working on them, we tuck them away and shrug them off. The same way we did when the root cause of them happened to begin with. It could have been an unkind word spoken years ago from someone whose opinion of you, you sincerely valued. It could be an ex that made you feel less than. It could be that one time that someone called you a name and that name stuck with you and subconsciously became part of your identity.

Whatever the reason we become insecure, we have to admit it first in order to heal, even if that means a bruised ego or taking another slight hit to our esteem in order to heal. It has to be addressed. Why do we feel less than? Why do we feel as though we are not beautiful enough just as we are? Who told us that we were not enough, and why did we believe them?

Then comes the practice of forgiveness both towards those people, and forgiveness towards ourselves for grouping together the negative opinions of others about us, and shaping them into an unrealistic image and an unattainable persona we are so desperately trying to achieve.

The problem is not that we are failing at becoming amazing people, its that we are failing to recognize that we are already amazing.

We are beautiful. Just as we are.

No one with half a heart gets through this life unscathed by the unkind words of another but we don't have to hold onto them. Nor do we have to live up to an idealistic version of perfect we've been led to believe exists. No. We can make a choice starting today to just BE. Be present in each moment. Be aware of our blessings. Be happy with our own reflection rather than comparing ourselves to the image of another. Be more concerned with being beautiful inside, rather than out. Be more thankful. Be more grateful. Be more truthful. Be quintessentially, and unapologetically ourselves.

Because you are the only YOU in this world. And you ARE enough. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. Jesus looked at all of creation and thought this world still needed YOU. You are not a waste. You are not a lost cause. You are beginning anew each and every day that you awake, and your story is not over. Your journey is not finished, and your purpose is being fulfilled with every honest moment you experience. You are beautiful, with your scars, with your mistakes, and with your insecurities. Your worth does not deplete simply because some do not recognize it, and your value is not deemed invalid simply because someone doesn't think you measure up. Why? Because your identity is not in the opinion of others, it's not in your failures, it's not in your flaws, it's not even in what you think of yourself. It is IN CHRIST, held safely and securely, out of reach of all negativity, and unchanged by any earthly circumstance, good or bad, that you experience. It cannot be altered by any opinion for it has been firmly established well before you were even born by a loving and doting Father. By God, who holds you in high esteem even when you do not hold yourself there.

- Brianna Carey 

She Keeps Trying

She's gotten so great at pretending. New people she meets tell her constantly how funny she is. How she is always laughing and smiling, but all the while she is denying her sadness because she doesnt want to bring anyone else down. She hides that frown when everyone is around but then drowns in her own despair as she sits there alone with her thoughts. They just pile up, until the weight is too heavy to bare. She wonders if anyone cares enough to see past the rehearsed smile and forced laughter to ask her how she's really doing.

Because she really isnt doing well.

She wonders is anyone will can tell and furthermore, if anyone will ever be able to help.

She tells herself to keep trying, that one day if she just keeps smiling, she'll feel it, that happiness that has eluded her for years.