Heart on My Sleeve

If I am looked down on
for the mangled heart
which I proudly wear upon
this sleeve of mine
So be it...that's fine
For what I put out there into the world,
it may not always be pretty
but it comes from a place of purity 
always honest though sometimes brutally
One thing I will NEVER BE
is fake
Make no mistake about it
Love me or Hate me.
At the end of the day
What you have to say....
It wont break me.

Clever am I.

Writers block 

Trying to write but not a thought 

in sight. 

The words are there but they don't seem to fit right

and I don't wanna force it

but of course its; 

a bit frustrating 

The Words just laying 

on the tip of my tongue 

Yet they wont come together 

but Clever am I. 

Thoughts about the Universe

Our world is so incredible! Our oceans, a vast, beautiful, ever growing, unexplored plethora of mystery and captivation! I am beyond mesmerized at the new life being discovered every day on this earth. In this world. In our universe. Its continuously changing and evolving and it is magnificent! Im so humbled when I think of how I am but a small spec in the scheme of master design at the hands of a God of whom's power I cannot even fathom if I tried. To say that I am moved by His glory would be an understatement. From the stars to the grains of sand that make up the shores which line our oceans, I am in awe. 
DeepThoughts 

Love is like....

Love. 

It is like that of a gentle breeze that brushes ones cheek. 

Like the sound of the waves as they meet the shore. 

It leaves you speechless 

And wanting more. 

All I Desire

All I desire in this lifetime
is for one person in this world besides the Lord
to know the very core of who I am.
To look me in the eyes and be able to see the most vulnerable parts of me
that I tuck so deep inside,
and in seeing them in no way, shape or form would they ever try
to take advantage.
To understand me in moments when I make no sense.
Someone who accepts my past.
Inspires my present.
And encourages my future.
Someone who shares in my happiness, and my tears.
Embraces my awkwardness.
Vanquishes my fears.
Laughs at my jokes even when they aren't funny.
Gives without wanting anything from me.
Someone who seeks God more than I do so to inspire in me
the desire to be closer to Him.
Someone able not just to love me
but to be my best friend.
That's all I need.

Quote about the Heart

"I dont want to listen to my heart, I want my heart to listen to God." ~Brianna C Carey

Train Your Eyes Quote

"TRAIN YOUR EYES TO FOCUS ONLY ON THE GOOD AND SOON ALL THAT SURROUNDS YOU WILL BE PLEASING TO THE SIGHT, AND YOUR THOUGHTS WILL FOLLOW." ~Brianna C Carey

Quote about Struggle

"Never Give Up no matter how hard things get.

You're Never a Loser until you stop fighting.

You're Never Failure until you Quit!"

"Never Give Up"

To be honest 
Some days may be a struggle
But it doesn't mean that the next day will be the same. 
So when you feel like giving up I just want to say 
That the pain doesn't last forever. 
Things Do get better. 
I promise. 

Smile Through the Storm

Still awake and pondering Life 

My mind wandering the Night 

In search of that which is Good 

and all that is Right 

I inhale the Light but cannot sigh an exhale 

So I hold my breath until I'm pale in the face 

As I race against time to find 

that which I need to breathe 

A moment of peace 

Clarity is that which I seek 

Sincerity is what I need 

Transparency is what I bleed before you 

Yet you still cant see my pain 

Do I hide it so well 

that you are unable to tell 

when I am hurting 

I hide it...so not to be a burden 

Though I am certain I will be found 

despite the amount 

of effort I put out to stay hidden 

Lord may I be forgiven

for my complaint 

but this heavy lifting 

has weakened the Soul of this saint 

by just a bit 

Although I refuse to quit 

I am human I must admit 

it gets hard to bare 

They say "life, it is not fair" 

But somehow just knowing that You care is enough 

that even when this Life is at its most rough

I am able to smile 

even while it is Storming 

For weeping I may endure for the night 

but my Joy awaits me in the Morning. 

What Began in Sorrow

Up thinking while the rest of the world sleeps....

How is it that I can be.... 

A better me tomorrow?

What began in sorrow 

can also end in sweet bliss

Of this.....I am positive.

Untitled....

I am but a soul....

One Soul on this earth in transition 

In search of what Ive been missing....

for so long 

Not knowing how it went so wrong? 

But attempting to make it right. 

Trying with all my might to find my footing  

A safe place to land 

On the quest for God's plan 

All this flying 

without a destination at hand

has grown tiring 

How much time 

before this heart of mine 

gives out? 

Quote about myself

"I sometimes confuse activity with productivity! But i guess Im thankful at least my car isnt "in park" ya dig. I just gotta learn to drive it with an intended destination in mind and not just be out there wasting gas just joyriding."

Wise Quote

Sure a flower is beautiful for a season but eventually withers away having succumb to harsh climates. Weeds though they may not be as appealing to the eye but they are persistent and seem to not only last but thrive in the face of adversity." ~Brianna C. Carey

I miss you....

MOMMY
YOU ARE WORTH EVERY TEAR
THAT HAS FALLEN DOWN MY FACE
FROM THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY
UNTIL NOW
AND I DONT KNOW HOW
I'M GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS
ALL I KNOW IS
I MISS YOU.....

Mother and Daughter

"That little girl
she was your world
But in her eyes
you were hers
no one on this earth
can ever take your place
All I can do now is await the day
when I see your face
welcome me into Heaven....
I'll keep you in my heart....until we meet again."

Mommy......

My sweet Mommy,
Its been almost 8 months now since you left.
and I cant help but feel like I've been falling
Like I just cant catch my breath
I wake up some nights calling out for you
But then I remember you aren't there
And It just isn't fair
I wasn't ready to lose you
Its like I don't know what to do
I cant seem to get a handle on anything
There's just so many things that I struggle with
Its not just your death
that I cant accept
Its the months before
That day I came home to see you crawling on the floor
attempting to walk to the bathroom door
but you couldn't remember how to do that
It's that first week in December when I knew that
our world had changed forever
I knew this time you weren't going to get better
No matter how much I prayed
Day by day I watched the life slowly fade
from your beautiful face
It killed me to see it then
and it still kills me today
It's like I cant erase those images
and yet the remnants
of the memories I wish to keep
are nowhere to be seen
All I see is the pain
All I remember was the way
you struggled to find the words to say what you needed to
The look of frustration on your face, the way it bothered you
that you couldn't...
Because you were always so good with
words
Mommy, my heart hurts
Because I cant remember our last conversation
The devastation of that on it's own
is enough to break me
I just wish you could take me where you are
I know its far
But If only for a day
If Jesus could make a way for me to hold you
and see the smile on your face
I'd be so grateful
Lord knows how much I miss you....
But I know there isn't a way  
I know all that remains are these pictures
Your ashes that sit upon this fixture in my room
They are all I have left of you.....
You were the strongest woman I knew
I didn't think anything could take me from you
Or you from I
So I sit here and cry to Jesus
Please help me understand the reason
Why?
Why it had to be you?
Why it had to be so soon?