Supernatural Love

I understand that being attractive is important to some extent. But if that is the only reason a man wants a woman.... and I mean purely basing his interest in a woman solely on her looks (which will inevitably change), then that is an extremely superficial man. Don't get me wrong; I would want a gentleman to find me beautiful, of course, but to also desire me more than just what is on the surface? More than what I have to offer him in the physical. I want him to take an interest in my mind. I want him to want to know the things that hurt me, the dreams I aspire to, the things in life that I am passionate about, I want him to talk to me about God, to be able to have the deep intellectual conversations as well as goofy silly ones about nothing in particular at all. And of course he'd be receiving the same in return from me. I look for more than just what the eye can see in someone. I want to know the soul. The soul matters. It should matter to everyone. 

Love can't grow on superficial ground. 

Oh, and p.s. Chivalry never goes out of style.

Happy Birthday Mommy 2016

I miss you....
But that's nothing out of the ordinary
When a mother is as extraordinary as you were
One can be sure of more than a few tears
as thoughts of you come to remembrance.
I'm trying to maintain some semblance of normality
But the reality is....
Nothing will ever be the same without you
I miss everything about you
I doubt you or anyone for that matter
could even fathom just how much.
You are extremely loved and missed.
You were truly a gift,
not only to me but to so many others
My mother.... my best friend.
I will cherish you today and always.....
Until we meet again.

-

Happy Birthday Mommy.
Celebrating with the Angels I'm sure.....

An open letter to a friend after a disagreement.

I already forgave you. But it's not so much about that particular situation. It's happened before. You misunderstand me often. I don't like confrontation, and I don't enjoy feeling pressured or being interrupted when I am attempting to help you better understand what I mean. And you do that to me A LOT. I can't get a sentence out without you cutting me off. But when you are talking to me and explaining something to me.... I give you the courtesy of listening fully, and the respect and patience to hear you out so that I can understand where you are coming from but you don't give me that same treatment. You shrug off what I say as if it doesn't matter at all, and you always go back to "So and so said this or 'somebody' said that", and although I am not a Pastor or a Psychologist or a Theologian; you can still learn from me if you'd ever give me the actual time to talk to you without interrupting.

So I am just contemplating this morning, what is the purpose of having a friendship where you can't learn from one another and care about each other enough to want to understand the other better?

I know ultimately, that I know absolutely nothing without Jesus and everything ties back to Him. God is infinite, right? And so if God is infinite then that means that wisdom is also infinite, meaning it is impossible to know it all, and we can learn something new daily when we surrender to that reality. There are things that I thought I knew at one point in time that have long since been disproved by God, and so now; I've learned to welcome someone who comes along with sharper "iron" to come and sharpen me because I do not know everything. From one day to the next.... things we thought we knew (because of our ego and prideful ways) can turn out to be wrong. He reveals wisdom to us but that wisdom doesn't belong to us. It's His truth, not ours.

God is also working on me to not retain everything I hear from others but rather rely upon His discernment to determine whether it is God's truth or not. But if I am constantly interjecting the conversation I am having with someone and saying to them "No, it's actually this way", then I am only entertaining that conversation to reiterate what I feel I already know thus gratifying my own ego instead of simply coming into the conversation open minded to the fact that the other person may indeed understand something about God's Word that I don't, giving them the benefit of the doubt, and allowing them to express their revelation, rather than cutting them off mid sentence. Then..... once I have patiently heard them out, I then take it to God, to see if what they said to me actually stands on God's Word, and then I rely on the discernment of the Holy Spirit to teach me if it is indeed God's truth. Then and only then do I apply it to my life.

Jesus has to be our entire focus in order for wisdom to come through us and to us. It can be hurtful when that wisdom is cut off from the person attempting to share it, by someone who refuses to let it flow, either because they don't like what they hear or they disagree feeling that they already know best. This scenario is why I strongly believe that dying to ourselves is so important. Dying to our thoughts, our feelings, etc., that way we don't get in the way of God working in us and also through others in our lives.

There is a scripture that speaks more about brothers and sisters in Christ, how we are supposed to be as "iron sharpening iron". I'll let you look that up and see more about what that means but it's basically that we can help one another improve. But that improvement is virtually impossible if one person or the other feels they need no improving because they already know it all. I don't know about you but I personally just want to be as a baby in Jesus, a sponge you know and just soak up God's knowledge, learn from Jesus and observe my brothers and sisters in their walks with Jesus and truly LISTEN to them when they try to "sharpen" me. I don't know it all, and I never claim to, I simply wanted to help you understand what God showed me (I wanted to sharpen you) but you weren't open to that. Please let me know if you ever do want to have a conversation about this and be actually open to hearing me out. Because I can't just keep ignoring the "elephant in the room" each time we have a disagreement and pretend like nothing happened. Eventually it would be something that comes to light again and we'd be right back in this same place. I am flesh unfortunately.... A human, and so as much as I want to be just like Jesus in the sense that nothing bothers me, I can't you know. This flesh takes things personal. So please hear me out, so that way we can come to a resolution, learn from one another, and compromise and have some type of understanding rather than just acting like nothing is wrong in the friendship. Because that would be phony. I don't want a 'counterfeit friendship'. I want an open and honest one rooted in Jesus just like everything should be in life.

I hope this has better explained to you about my revelations. So, just pray about them and talk to Jesus. Take some quiet time with God and just ask Him for clarity on these things and thank Him for the work He is doing.

I'll reach out soon to check on you, and will keep you in prayer in the meantime. Sending Love.

Your Faithfulness

Regardless of my surroundings 

I am confounded by Your beauty

By the way You are truly 

working in my heart 

I see Your grace play a part

in every aspect of my life 

The way You supply every need

and make use of every seed

I have planted 

At times I take fore granted 

Your faithfulness 

I forgot how blessed I truly am

Jesus, Thank You.

Thank You that despite my sin

You've made it Your sole intent 

to Love me as I am.