I don't mind if no one hears my heart. I care about humanity. I care about souls, I want people to spend eternity in Heaven. So I'm going to keep posting about Jesus. I am going to keep posting scriptures. Because this is not a joke. It's not some fad. It's the ONLY constant in my life. GOD. That's it. All other things fail in comparison. I don't always get life right and that's okay, that's why He died. But I try. Not because I want to impress the world, but because I don't want to disappoint my Father. It actually gives me an ill feeling inside when I know I have done something He would disapprove of. That's the beautiful thing about His grace though, if we just admit our short comings to Him, we are forgiven. It's not that we will never make another mistake, that's a given because we are broken. The world is broken, we don't live in Eden anymore, so living by His commandments perfectly is impossible. But God reads the heart. When we do something wrong, do we feel remorse? Does it bother us deep down? Or are we someone who sins with blatant disregard to how it makes God feel, or the fact that it is wrong? Which person are you? Do you continue in sin without regard or do you care? Do you aim to do better? That is all God asks of us.... not perfection. I can't stop sharing God's word and praying for souls to come to Him because I know how obliterated my soul was before I came to know Him. How there was such an empty space that nothing would fill, I remember how I felt when I literally felt the hand of God on me and began to speak from my lips, not of my own control, words that no man could interpret. That is the encounter I had with Jesus. He changed me for the better. He healed and is continuing to heal the deepest wounds I have not only inflicted upon myself but the afflictions others have caused my soul. I did not change myself, this isn't some false ego. I didn't change my own character. I had such anger inside me before He replaced it with forgiveness. I had a proud and haughty, know it all heart and He broke me to a place of humility and gave me compassion for others. These things He has done only scratch the surface of how He has transformed my being. And these changes did not happen overnight. I got saved a long time ago and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior but it was not until years later that I actually formed a relationship with Him, and I was finally able to have this relationship by learning what it means to live a life fully surrendered. I do not have to depend on myself alone. I do not have to carry the burdens of my transgressions anymore, I don't have to live under a cloud of guilt and shame or live in condemnation because there is NONE when you live in Christ. IN. I didn't understand why that verse said IN instead of WITH Christ until I recognized the power of surrender. I am not just walking with God, but IN Him. All that I do is no longer a reflection of my own character but His also. And in knowing that, I recognize that what I do holds a greater importance than just that of my own consequences. I'm not just living for me anymore. It's an amazing thing. It's beautiful. And I want others to receive the freedom that comes with repentance and surrender. I don't have to know all the answers, I just have to Know the God who has them. I am sure I will still make mistakes in the future because I am imperfect. But when God formed my soul, He formed perfection. The flesh it is temporarily homed in is unfortunately not. But at the root of my being is Light. Love. Kindness. Compassion. All things that God is made up of. He formed all of us in His image and His image is perfection. That image, despite our brokenness, is not distorted in God's eyes, He still sees us as His perfect masterpiece. I just want you to know that. Whether or not you like what I am saying is of no consequence to me. But I pray with everything that I am, that you hear me when I say you are a child of God and all He wants is your heart and soul. Not perfection, just your love. He stands and knocks at the heart of every man/ woman and whoever opens the door, He will enter in and He will dwell there. He LOVES you, right where you are, you don't have to change to come to Him, you come to Him and He'll change you. You'll find that you'll have to 'TRY' to do what's right less, and less, because as the walls you've built up with the struggles of life begin to break down, the person He created you to be is revealed, and your desire to do what is right will surpass the desire to impress the world. You won't have to pretend to be strong anymore or be reliant solely upon yourself but instead the heavy weight you carry will be replaced with an easy yolk.... the Grace of God. And that transformation leads to an eternal life of peace, and everlasting joy. If we stay on a prideful path, it leads only to destruction and death. CHOOSE LIFE. God gives us free will because He doesn't want our forced admiration, He wants us to choose to Love Him because of who He is. If you have tried everything under the sun to feel complete and not lacking and you still feel as though you are missing something, then why not try Jesus. I'm not talking about going to a church building on a Saturday or Sunday, and putting on a facade of religious appearance and terminology to boast yourself  better than any other human being. No. I'm talking about having a true relationship with the Living God who has the ability to transform every aspect of your life for the better. I'm talking about a Water that will quench that which your soul has thirsted for since birth. A loving two way relationship with Jesus, The Father. Where you can literally feel Him working in your heart. If you will only try Him, you'll begin to see yourself wanting to keep His commandments not because you have to or by some religious sense of obligation, but because you want to, because you Love Him. I love you all and I hope that you have read this and somehow my words have struck a cord with you, with even just one person. The difference between the world and God, is the world will take everything from you until there is nothing left, God only wants to Give of Himself to you, take upon Himself your burdens, and spend not only this life but the one that follows in your company, simply because you mean that much to Him. Not because you did anything right but because you are His child and He loves you. Won't you open your heart today, and make the decision to let Him in?


"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him." - Psalm 34:8

God bless.

In You

In your eyes

I see the Light of Grace

In an endless space of time

I find myself drifting more into you

Let my words pour into you like the rivers to the sea

Meet me like the ocean does the sand

and take my hand as we journey this life together

Through whatever may come.

Hi, my name is Jane.

I like to party a lot, I mean, that's what life is about right? Having a good time? I go to all the best clubs, and nobody turns up better than me. I get so wasted. I'm the life of the party, at least that's what they tell me, I usually can't remember much from the night before. But whatever. I don't care. I do me. Only God can judge me. Right? Well anyway, I drink or do whatever drugs because I can do whatever I want and no one can stop me. I have fun. My friends are just like me. They all love me for who I am. This is what makes me happy.....

Well, I think it does anyway. Sometimes when I'm by myself, I get sad. But I don't let that show when I'm out with my friends. I just bottle it up and pretend. Or pick the bottle up and get wasted again. To be honest..... I'm actually kind of tired of living like this. It's not even living. I'm not even present most of the time. I can't remember the last real conversation I've had with anyone. I'm so broken. I just want my life to feel normal again, not tossed about in a whirlwind of misery like I have been for so many years. I want my mind to be clear. It used to be.... before I lost sight of whats right as oppose to wrong.

I don't know how it all got so bad.

Remember those friends I was telling you about earlier, they don't really care about me. If they did, they would tell me the truth. They would see my brokenness and try to help, as oppose to making it worse. I don't want another drink, I don't want another night I can't remember. I don't want the hangover the next morning. I'm sick and tired of crying and having no end to my pain, no matter how drunk I get, no matter how numb the drugs make me, they eventually wear off and I'm right back here again.... at this moment. Hurting.... it's like there's this hole in my soul and I keep trying to fill it, but I still feel empty. I still feel alone.

I've tried EVERYTHING.

Well....not everything. I haven't tried you Jesus.... So.... here goes nothing. I mean, what could it hurt. I've heard good things about you. That you're forgiving. For my sake, I really hope that's true... :) The things I've done aren't exactly worthy of that kind of Love. But maybe it can fill this void. Nothing else has. Maybe you're the answer. You could heal my pain..... and maybe I don't have to hurt so much anymore. Maybe I don't have to feel so alone. I know I don't have a lot of me left to give you. I have given so much of myself to everyone else, and my heart is so unclean, but if you'll still have my heart.... it's yours. I don't know what you will do with it, it's a mess but here.... take it.

Wow.... it kinda feels nice to tell someone how I've really felt all these years. It sorta feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I know it's gonna be a long walk ahead but I'm kinda glad I'm not walking it alone anymore. Thanks God..... ya know.... for listening.

An Excerpt from "The Many Lives of Jane" By Brianna Colleen Carey

Heaven Gained an Angel.....

I just don't want it to be true

I had so much I wanted to say to you

Had I had the chance

But that moment has passed

and now all I can say is goodbye

Left with but the question.... Why?

To which no answer could satisfy....

A reason won't dry the tears that flow

All I know is your not here...

and I can only hope that it's clear

how much you mattered

How you blessed the lives of every person you encountered

You are more loved than words can express

The way you've touched my heart, I will never forget

It's imprinted there forever

The world was better because of you Kurt Adkins

Perhaps it's Heaven's turn to be blessed in the same way

When you left yesterday

the world lost a beautiful soul

But I know.... Heaven gained an angel.

Rest in peace.