Awake and unsettled......
It's times like these that I distance myself from the world usually, and go into my me cave for a while, headphones and all, so as to avoid trivial conversation with those who could care less about what I have to say. I surrender to my God to receive wisdom, only to speak and have it fall on deaf ears. The scriptures say: "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to swine. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." - Matthew 7:6 I have known that pain of witnessing my words be trampled. It's agonizing; and so I think, why put myself through that? Is anything getting through to them God? Could I possibly be sowing seeds that will later grow in the souls and minds of other people? I'd like to hope the latter but I honestly do not know. I look into the eyes of some and I see an empty vessel. Their eyes glazed over as if they are not present, although standing directly in front of me. Every one's always so rushed, so pressed for time, but what time? What is more important than right now? How can one be so ahead of themselves that they aren't even here right now? I wonder these things to myself.....I ponder the meaning of it all. Why we feel the need to fill our silence with generic small talk rather than sit peacefully together in serenity. Why we cant stand to just be still. Why we submit to asking the same old "how are you? Good, how about you? I'm good." question and answer routine everyday, with no intention of procuring a genuine answer to how another human being is actually doing? I just grow so tired of it all..... it all seems so meaningless. I do not desire to partake in this facade of conversation anymore. It's draining, and literally excruciating, both intellectually and spiritually. Sigh..... I need a break. I think it's time for me to step back a bit, quiet myself and refocus my vision so it aligns with my purpose. God grant me the serenity.....
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