Mommy

Growing up, and up until my Mommy died, I was so spoiled by her Love. The way she was always so affectionate with me, whether it be a hug or rubbing my head, just letting me lay my head on her shoulder, while she put her hand on my cheek, holding my hand, etc. I just miss that so much. And so sometimes.... especially when going through big changes; I feel this deep loneliness, or a longing desire to cuddle with someone to give me that same sense of being loved. I am always hugging people for this reason I believe, and I will hug them over and over if they let me. Lol, But I know deep down, I am only trying to replace what she gave me, and ultimately, I know I can get the same love from Jesus too, not in the physical sense bit spiritually. That doesn't mean it's not hard still.... It's amazing what a simple kiss on the cheek or soft snuggle can do to strengthen someone's heart when they are struggling. But I just gotta keep my head up, and stay open hearted. I can't look to people; friends or family, to save me. I have to rely solely on Jesus to be enough. Whether I am surrounded by friends & family or all alone in a room by myself..... He is with me and that has to be enough. I am just a work in progress ya'll.
Maybe my Mommy spoiled me too much but none the less; I am thankful that I know what genuine unconditional love looks like because of her and that I am able to give that same love freely to others without expecting anything in return. Wanting to give them that kind of love simply because I know how good it feels to get it.

I miss you my sweet Mommy, thank you for showing me I am worthy to be loved, despite all my imperfections. I love you so much. I can't wait to see your beautiful face when I leave this place one day. Until then, sending my love to Heaven.

Love always, You're little Butterfly