MY HOPE IS THAT YOU UNDERSTAND

I never knew
just how blessed I was to have a mother like you
I wasnt always grateful
In fact I was sometimes hateful
I wish I could take back any out of turn thing I said
I wish I could bring back every single day that we spent
When you were alive
So that I could treat you right
Never hurt your feelings or make you cry
My sweet mommy, the guilt I carry inside
For any unkind word I uttered in my life
I shutter to think that I
may have disappointed you....
I never wanted to...
I wish I could have just one more day
to touch your face
To hug you and say
All the things I never got the chance too
Like I'm sorry for what I put you through
Any nights that I made you worry
I'm so sorry
For any time that I yelled
when you were just trying to help....
My heart was shattered even then...
My mind was unwell.... I was struggling
And I still am....
I can only pray that you understand
I can still remember your hands
in their shaky and weakened state
You reaching up for my face
to comfort me when I was crying....
Even as you were dying,
you thought of me first....
You didnt want me to hurt
Even at your worst....
Your concern was for me
You loved me unconditionally, and I can never repay you...

My sweet Mommy....

All that you went through
And not once did you complain
You maintained a smile that will remain in my heart forever...
Until the day we are together again
And I can hold you and tell you then
How so very proud I am
To be your daughter...
How thankful I am to call you my Mother....
I LOVE YOU...so very much.