Your Memory

I just get so sad during this time of year....
It becomes so impossibly clear that you are not here
to share in the moments we once cherished together
If ever I missed you most, it's at Christmas time....
My mind flashes to back when we put up the tree
And then suddenly that week you couldn't walk....
The way you talked began to change
You were slipping away.....
as I tried desperately to make the days go by a little slower
I'd stay awake for hours just to hear you breathing
Because I knew you'd be leaving soon.....
I could feel it in my heart
A part of me was vanishing
And although I was managing the pain of that realization
I was still faced with the deepest sorrow I'd ever endure
You, not here with me anymore.....
I was sure I'd die right there beside you that day
But His grace....it came, and it stayed
Even today, it helps carry me through the pain
The pain of missing your presence
Until we meet in Heaven, I believe it will always remain
But so will your memory
And that too gives me peace
I love you so much my sweet Mommy.