I want Heaven

I'm so tired of the world
This land blood stained by the victioms of this earth
My soul aches. It hurts
I'm walking around like is that really the worlds' worth?
Am I the only one on earth who's grown tired
Of how the standard of kindneww is no longer required?
You're only one desire is to hate
To kill, to sin, and fill the world with great violence?
I'm so sick of this nonsense
It's exhausted me. I'm spent
I desire no more to live up to the requiremnts
This world has for me
I'm seeing through my eyes all this disease
Famine world wide
The increase in the amount of homeless on our streets
I mean even the food we eat is now tainted
Not just our meat but our vegetables are unclean
and can make you sick
The environment has changed
Our weather predicitions are now in vain
There's hurricane's where in the past, they have never been
There's earthquakes more frequently in continent on this land
And we sit back and pretend that everything's okay
That for this whirlpool of sins
we have placed ourselves in
That there won't be a consequence?
That we won't have to answer for them?
There are planes falling from the sky at an alarming rate
All the signs of the end of times are taking place
And you call it coincedence?
Is it not evident to you what's about to come?
What is going to happen to us for what we've done?
Do you not see what I see?
There are random murders each day of the week
You can't turn on your news for one second and not see
Someone killing someone
It used to be
The element of love was still in existence
Now we have become so distant
There is no love that we are left with
Only hatred
I'm just disgusted!
I've had it with the world
I don't want any part of this earth
I don't want the men, the money, the diamonds or pearls
They hold no worth
They are of no value to me anymore
My soul no longer intent on gaining the superficial
It's gotten to the point
Where even my fless despises the physical
My desire now lies in the spiritual
I was steady looking for peace of mind
Amidst all this chaos and crime
Through all the destruction and hard times
It was hard to find
I was blind and couldn't see
But then I found God
and there was clarity
He awakened me to what many are oblivious to
They can't see it
Because the world is blocking their veiw
I used to be that way too
Now I am humbled by these visions
I have been given from God
The way I was once living
Only brought me sadness, a self destruction
My soul was in ruins
My heart in pain, I needed adjustment
Then God took out his tool kit
And fixed, and gladly
That's just it, he wasn't mad at me
I expected him to be furious
For the way that I was living
But then he comes to me and says I'm forgiven
Forgiven?
Are you serious God, but I did that and this.....?
He says "My child you have been cleaned of it"
I couldn't believe it
Finally someone who doesn't judge me
Who looks past all my flaws and still loves me
It blows my mind everytime we have a conversation
That by his grace I was able to escape damnation
I still don't understand it all and so I make mistakes
But that's what's great
Through my mistakes I learn more
It's by my sins Jesus was able to make my soul pure
Through his blood I am forgiven
The reason I am able to gain wisdom
I know it's because of Him
Learning to forgive myself, now that's the hard part
Where do I start?
To relieve the guilt from my conscious?
My shameful heart won't let me let go of my past
The things that I once did
The devil sends me a constant reminder of who I used to be
To try and provoke me
Into returning to my old ways of rebellion
But it's not going to happen
Why would I leave this place I'm in
After all the things I have seen
After all that God has shown me
How could I ever walk away
I feel so privileged, so honored that He talks to me
That I had an ear to listen
That he came to me
Because I had an open heart to recieve him
So grateful that he gave me his spirit
That he thought my soul was worthy of it
Now if I could just forget my past and press forward
I know that there's more in my future that I'm in store for
More knowledge for me that my God has to offer
More wisdom to recieve so that my soul may prosper
I want to be as close to Him as possible
I love Him for love me
For not judging me
For protecting me even when I didn't want to be protected
For not negelcting me His love
Even though His Love, I once neglected
For not turning His back to me when
At one time all He could see what my back turned to Him
His mercy is so astounding
I'm so glad that I found Him
I wait impatiently for the return of His only son
For when He comes
I will no longer have to endure the trials of this place
I will be secure in the hands of the Lord I know that I'll be safe
I can't wait to see Heaven
To not have to suffer in this world I'm in
To be in a place where there is no illnesses
No disease
No murder and no deceit
No lies or harm done to me
Just peace
And pure bliss
An array of magnificance
With all my heart I long for that day
Each night before I go to sleep I pray
That I will make it
That when He comes that He will take me
Me as well as my family
Because there's nothing more this world can offer me
To satisfy my needs
There is nothing here that interests me
My mind is set on Heaven
That's where my soul is going
That's where I want to be
I refuse to suffer a lifetime on earth
Just so that I can suffer in Hell for an eternity
Then what would my life have been worth?
So say everything my flesh wants; I go out and get it
Then my soul goes to Hell when the flesh is gone
Where I'm praying for death but it won't come
I just can't justify it
That wouldn't make sense
So I don't make my treasures on this earth
But instead in Heaven with Thee
For where my treasures are kept
My heart and soul will also be.